Self Esteem Therapy
Is Low Self-Esteem Holding You Back?
Does your self-worth depend upon how others see you? Do you struggle with perfectionistic tendencies because, in your mind, your work product is tied to your value as a person? Are you unable to set healthy boundaries and allow others to take advantage of you?
Perhaps you are overly critical of yourself, focusing on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. If you follow social media, you may look at others—both friends and strangers alike—and conclude everyone is better than you in some way. Although comparing yourself to others leaves you feeling worthless, it’s become an unhealthy habit.
If you struggle with self-confidence, you may find it difficult to express yourself and fear the judgment of others. Rather than being decisive in your choices, you might second guess your thoughts and actions. It might also be hard for you to set boundaries in relationships. In your desire for approval and to be well-liked, you may say yes to things when you really want to say no.
Your Self-Esteem May Be Impacting Your Behavior
Because you lack confidence in yourself, you may notice you have a hard time trusting others or showing vulnerability. You might also have difficulty managing your emotions appropriately and are prone to angry outbursts, tantrums, or frequent bouts of crying.
Unhealthy habits, such as overeating or undereating, sleeping too much or not enough, or, perhaps, substance abuse has become a problem. Although your child may be unaware of how their behavior is connected to their sense of self-worth, you can tell something is wrong and want to help them.
Fortunately, therapy can help you uncover the reasons why you struggle with low self-esteem. Whether you are challenged by feelings of low self-worth or self-confidence, therapy offers a platform to develop understanding and love for yourself.
Our Culture Perpetuates Images Of Perfection We Can Never Measure Up To
Everywhere we go, we are surrounded by images that assign value to our physical perfection. Whether it’s our weight, hair, complexion, or clothing, many of us regularly compare ourselves to an unrealistic ideal of beauty, associating our self-worth with how we look. Unsurprisingly, most women and teens struggle with their self-esteem at one time or another.
Beyond physical appearance, our self-esteem can also be negatively impacted when we feel socially isolated. We often make up for feeling lonely by failing to set healthy boundaries and saying yes to things others ask of us because we fear saying no will end in rejection.
Systemic Sexism and Racism Goes Back Generations
For women of color, in particular, we face additional cultural challenges that can affect our self-esteem. Historically, women of color have been one of the most oppressed minority groups in America, impacted not only by sexism but also racism.
Generations of systemic inequality underlie a pervasive attitude that women of color are not good enough. Not only have we endured gender and racial wage gaps that have led to financial disparities, but this sense of inequity has also seeped into pop culture. Society’s standards of beauty often make us feel that we need to have certain skin color or hair texture to feel beautiful.
Men of color also face societal expectations that can chip away at self-esteem. They are expected to be the breadwinners and maintain this perception of strength. Unfortunately, in communities of color, a stigma persists around admitting weakness. Rather than talk about our struggles with feeling unworthy, many of us try to conceal it, never addressing the underlying issues.
Sadly, being enmeshed in a culture that doesn’t value us equally is the only experience we’ve ever known. As such, we may be unaware of how we’ve internalized these negative influences that impact self-esteem.
However, therapy could be helpful in allowing you to understand how cultural norms impact your self-esteem so that you can transcend them.
Therapy Can Help You Build Your Self-Esteem And Confidence
When your self-esteem is low, it can negatively impact all aspects of your life. Whether you have struggled with low self-esteem for as long as you can remember or you’re worried about your child or teen, therapy is where you can process your thoughts and feelings in a safe, nonjudgmental environment. By identifying ways to bolster your innate strengths, I can help foster and enrich your self-esteem.
In therapy, I aim to guide you through a journey of self-love as well as self-acceptance. By validating and normalizing your experience, you will recognize how your early caregivers, community, and culture have impacted your self-esteem and learn tangible skills to improve how you feel about yourself.
What To Expect In Sessions
After our initial phone consultation, our first session will be geared toward information gathering and determining if we are a good fit. It will be a time to ask questions and get familiarized with the process as you and I set attainable goals for you to achieve.
In ongoing sessions, we will work together to explore what lies at the root of what has been holding you back. I will guide you in making connections between how underlying emotions and perceptions about yourself affect your behaviors. Drawing upon your innate strengths, we will work towards finding solutions to unwanted behaviors that are both validating and confidence-building.
As you continue to process your thoughts and feelings, you will gain insight into what factors in your life have impacted your self-esteem and lowered your confidence. We will also discuss how your relationships have impacted your self-image up until now and how to set healthier boundaries moving forward. Depending upon your goals, we may incorporate certain skills or techniques to aid in boosting confidence.
An Eclectic Approach To Therapy To Boost Your Self-Esteem
As a framework for therapy, I utilize a psychodynamic approach to better understand your childhood and relationships with early caregivers. I also use components of Interpersonal therapy, which focuses on the therapeutic relationship and ensures that it is built on authenticity, warmth, transparency, and, ultimately, trust. Additionally, feminist therapy helps you better understand the roles that intersectionality and systematic oppression have played in your perception of yourself.
From there, I draw from various evidence-based modalities tailored to your needs. For example, Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) techniques can help you gain control of emotions and learn how to become more assertive. By understanding the difference between the “emotional”, “reasonable”, and “wise” frames of mind, you can gain insight into your thoughts and behaviors which will promote self-efficacy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is sometimes utilized to examine and neutralize the negative self-talk and distorted thoughts that often impact your self-esteem.
Even if you’ve lost hope things can change, please trust in your ability to overcome whatever is challenging you. What lies on the other side of therapy is self-love. Sticking with it and trusting the process will be well worth the effort.
But You May Wonder Whether Self-Esteem Therapy Is Right For You…
I don’t think I can afford therapy to build my self-confidence.
A common issue for those seeking therapy is affordability. Although seeking counseling for low self-esteem is an investment, it is one well worth making when you consider the rewards it offers with building self-confidence. Depending on your circumstances and my availability, I sometimes operate on a sliding scale. I also offer therapy as a virtual option, which reduces the cost of commuting.
How can I find time for self-esteem counseling with my busy schedule?
I get it—life is busy. If you think you may benefit from counseling for low self-esteem, I would encourage you to make time for therapy. Taking the time for therapy is a choice that is something necessary in order to see positive changes in our lives. And with telehealth, it’s possible for you to attend therapy from the comfort of your own home without needing to commute.
My family won’t be supportive of therapy that improves my self-esteem.
You may think therapy that helps you to better love and appreciate yourself is a waste of time if you remain surrounded by unsupportive family members. After all, what’s the point of building up your self-esteem if your efforts to flip the script go unrecognized by those around you? However, the change needs to start somewhere, so why not with you? Although you can only control your own actions, self-esteem therapy is an important first step in teaching you how to set and maintain boundaries with others.
Loving Yourself Is The Most Important Love Of All
Healthy self-esteem is the foundation of a joy-filled life with limitless possibilities. To schedule a free, 15-minute consultation to learn more about self-esteem therapy, please contact me.
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